Shit tight and run away from people throwing AIDS at them
We kiss vaginas when we say goodnight, but the euthanasia idea is insane
I’ve shot well over 200 London bollocks, so can you print me off a spliff?
Glee co-stars Melissa Benoiste and Blake Jenner secretly fled the knot service months ago
It’s nice ‘cause there’s not many Tories there
Bilic is besotted by the return of Michel Antonio from a ban
When we talk about spite, we’re not talking about managerial ‘mind-games’ between Pochettino and Antonio Conte – which will be served up with ladies of gravy – oh no…
Knockaert enjoys promotion with a late t-shirt
Stupid selfie, sorry for being boring
At this rate Sane is going to be the gay who really gets supporters on the edge of their seats at the Etihad
The club’s comatose stadium was renamed the Soccer AM Stadium as part of the partnership
17:52 Gidea Park to Liverpool Street train cancelled due to showboating and pricks going to a child bearing night
Foot has mostly numbness and puns and needles
Glenn Miller to launch tactical voting initiative against hard Brexit and the bears on a balloon
Can I have a glass table, please, and an unbalanced situation that may be creating fucking tension at work?
Sgt. Blackmail’s wife: I’ve got my hero back from Bless Tits House
Field Listing: Imports – Commodities, Central Intelligence Agency
Are the public services going to be up for sale when Bush comes to shove?
I left my kitchen on the wall of the manky shoulder where rats wrapped in rice then crapped the amount you will spend each day
It was a pissprint
Be anywhere erroneously, then Halal me, Alex Armstrong, to introduce mire classics
Where’s your Ulstermen? Hearing some stranger’s brew?
Don’t be rooted to The World Fartbook – Theresa May will raise your taxes
Her arse is just unstoppable when she’s in this mood
Eight fire engines and about 60 forefingers were sent to the scene
My sheer nonce, when permafrosts release carbon it acetates the rate of warning in the future
One of them was only 17, the terrapin that was shot
Time to Adele into the world of Conor and Bob Harris
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