I know I’m gonna be a puppet now/Listening to a bleak city in a simile hotel to The Ivy/My wrist is not in its natural magician when playing the ukulele on my lap/She’s reducing the size of her 34O pubes/Pushing in for your tea is over there/I don’t wanna see Ricky grow up after too much drink/Torino with love/I’ll be burning four bras at the barbecue/Let’s go Bamo Breast in Shoreditch/Margaret statues and the bad tie meal/He’s gone for the American can dog pizza/Are you going to the oven bits?/Man chests united are the champions of Europe again/I can’t find Sonny’s colour/So have a hip round for a lowly cat/Bearded comedian is tough/She’s fingering of stuff to do/Ye up yer Buddha!/WET kiss!/Could be a bit of hostel gobbling cats/They’re always playing Orson in here, it’s silly/I’ve never eaten jellied ills, but my legs are tarred/I don’t know what cunt it’s in/Sail forth to other cunts/The boat is her diary along with long-haired melons/I’m so hungover that I feel like a drag queen has sat on my face/Water chums steadily/I didn’t notice any apparating during this programme/Pass the Chinese handkerchiefs/Click for anal mode/I’m gonna go to my room and listen to Fork Metal/Dildo get it?/When you go to uni make sure you live in catered whores/You still look shit all alone/Kit Kat back to me/You’ll make me come to you/But I’m still dancing on the wall/We can play hard to get/Match of dreams/She’s got the drunk pads playing/Flying from Gap/Jackmaster presents Tweak-A-Hole/Tomorrow, I’m gonna be out of this world/We’re all heart for Beyonce/Our home is built upon mountain dew, our home is beautiful/I ate a mango and I feel like a little Heineken/Concepció Arsenal/Ah, the Catholic police are on the news again/Morrissey does boxes in the freezer/You’re the breast bro/He’ll be jetting to the Far East for the British and Irish Irons tour/I don’t like pubs because there’s too many beards/Effective Ants Industry Showcase tonight at Hullbridge Community Centre/We’re not 100% saw whether to do a mesky wave/He works for Cuba, cue body odour and cyber duck/This award goes to leather plough and the karma zebra/My jumpers don’t have AIDS/We’re going to the sex shop because I love cancer/I’m sick of talking about Dr. Dead Donkey/Anyone wanna play Red Bull?/I can see for Maia/She does Caucasians with her highs wide open/Creative and Professional Riding/Where in shower ditch are you?/How to Denise Welch Ideas and Develop them into Scripts/Zoe’s not out because she’s showering with her friends/I bet they sell ship foetus/I don’t wanna get outed as Nick Griffin’s bum child/Steven Penis has done well in his second spell with Everton/The acts on Britain’s Got Talent all sound like Ed Sheeran the ginger minge, he’s a minger songwriter/Come on, sit down and take the clothes off your feet/Aw, fats coming through/Why do arses wear collars?
Written by Ricky Murray
03/06/13
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