Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XXXIV

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Sack-a-day Everton fans – that’s something that needs to be farted from grass-roots level

Avocado in intimacy Kate, 40, from Reading has written five sex books including The Good Orgasm Guide and Domestic Sex Goddess

They’re about a person who’s retarded as a copper

Ahmed claimed she paid cash to an unnamed ‘legal pervert’ who promised to help her dodge a £100 fine and three points on her licence

Although Scott tends to get all the credit, he was just called in to petrify the exterior and spruce up the chimneys (which he originally wanted to be square)

I was on the dole when I went to Vienna

Then it’s a sentimental walk from the station to my house at merdi o’clock

Do you believe in Elders?

We’ve started getting angst in the kitchen

I’ve got a moustache and it’s packed

It was like the Edinburgh tattoo with losers

Peter to be scanned is all banks to Papa John’s

Martin Kelner is here with his weaker sports

Albion’s gardener goes close

Better bring miniature shoes for when the football is on

There’s a game on the anti-seventh of June

Torres out to feel like a chemo once again

Weird things started happening, lettuce came through the door

And then, on October 2, 1980, in a perverted parking lot at Caesar’s Palace casino in Las Vegas, he faced the young, strong, utterly menacing figure of Larry Holmes

How you can call it a constellation goal…

Switch to Hopeless Energy – alcohol wins you titles when it matters

When you touch my bum it lights up the stage

All at once Mr. Golyadkin broke off his tongue playing a moth in Sixth Dense, all over the spaghetti, my beautiful wonder

Professional Plumbing Press Seeks New Books to Publish from de greedy Professors

Went Chicken Under after college, met Luke and had chicken maggots even though there were only Shirley and me to put a 200-yard safety condom in place

I think you can repair pickups with maggots

I don’t think there’s anything to take offence at.

Besides, I’m fully within my thighs

I’ve lost my hedge, so don’t cramp my sombrero

You’ve gotta know your urine

Shat your eyes towards Anal Grove

I think you had better peck your feather too

This is my second free sandwich of the day

Promance to die for apple scrubs

The planets are out

Eyes of shite glimmer in the light

Don’t hang up the anecdote when you want a camel jacket

Switzerland blew the channels they created

We direly need a new human

Although jewels remain still gleaming, little belittle breastaurants

Take a form from my pride

Well, that’s it, folks, my fax to Martin Lipton…

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