Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XXXIV

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Be a penis original: claim your plot with misty rain and the immediate and positive response from a female organisation

Professor Robert Macdonald, along with research partner, Jane Marsh, has spent years investigating the limp act of the economic changes inflicted on working-class communities

Good love is Jesus’ uncle

And I miss you, yeah, like the devil’s Mister Rain

On another floor in the lack of a car, English oiks are under threat from disease ravaging trees in Europe

Traffic on the M25 because of an overturned Wong wearing a posh frog for the hen do

Adele’s been agreed between EU members to take in more refugees, while newly single Rebecca Adlington pays a visit to a brutal boutique yesterday

I go wandering, you go pondering

It’s not a Jew when you go down to the Championship

Nothing’s changed apart from the names

I remember on Easter Sunday ’96 Celtic playing reindeers

I’m having a wash cos I’m sledgey from walking Sonny

I’m up to my idols with this place

That was in Tupelo in Elvis’ bird house

He’s been a bread of fresh air since he’s come in, but the landlord needs a lieutenant

We’ve talked a lot about patience, and we have patience here if you want to sponsor Adele through a plant

Ebola would come to the edge of the crease if need be

Kenya fear they could miss this summer’s Olympics after lawn makers failed to criminalise sports doping ahead of a key deadline

The trick is to bring back mutilated 60s memorabilia

Got a question from Mick McCarpet Face who needs to go to the bang and put some cash in

The jury’s out on whether 96 vans were unlawfully killed at Hillsborough in 1989

Mr Semple, who was gay, was described as having a happy-go-lucky chopper – the gun boy with apple pie

Ashwathi, Yahoo Mail Blackened Engineer, waiting for a bag with shit on the door

More crap pot stories to scare you next week

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