I have sex with flowers
Oh, bloody vegans chinny chin chin
Sports minister should be a role model
Anyone for branded Chewits?
I am the most beautiful boogie bear in Neil Young’s rear to rear fur ants
Cor, how many boxes of chocolate have you got?!
Sepp Blatter has been banned from all football nativities where the Taliban’s mates are big gains
Part of their courageous hair loss down Romford of Wolf Street
He was very versatile as a player, also bird-orientated and loved his books, so he was devastated when he started going thin on top
What turned women against him was when he went with a press-titute when his wife was pregnant
Forgettable Sarah Marshall appears on Good Morning Brixton
Wanking up and seeing her face
I went to the depressing room and did my usual thing – played it down a bit
I’m going through the storms for the weekend
WANTED DAD or ALIVE
CUNTS THIS WAY
Is that the cheese dragon now?
Winter Sade: up to 50% off, featuring the biggest outdoor prats
We must have more harmonium in the dressing room
Cricketer is fined for chucking up a journalist
He’s known to be a Muslim convert going by the name of Samantha Bra
It’s time to pee yourself off the sofa
Remi Garde wanna piece of me, BOOM!
I know where the bubble bath is
I’ve got the methadone
What we have here is a rape that may or may not have hit her head
Everything in the Charleston sounds the same now
I’ll do my breast to provide a platform for those without the information
Ste is a moran from the global snooze room that’s based on a fat white duck
Lionel Messi sends Chilean warning to Arsenal
Just a few more and he’ll be their record goal skewer
When he was on the bitch he knew where everybody was around him
I spoke to the fools panel earlier and they said Arsenal won’t win
It’s Pussy FM today with ‘everything changes my tune’
Man clearing snow falls over for NME seconds and a lame lime dick
The semi-precious stone Blue Stone is a two bed scooter house to what carrot?
Tomorrow I’m gonna llama around
That wasn’t owl intention
We’re also looking for the year David Haye made his professional Hebrew
Do you like Herreira in that sexual role?
I’m here with the smelly one and Fleet Street’s finest
Funnily enough there was a photo of him and a woman from Grease saying they looked alike, and just a few days before I was thinking how she looked like my anus and should have sent off Declan Rudd for his professional debut
A condom has also been set up while forensics comb Abbs Cross Gardens for evidence
We’re going to make you fit in the fridge. Let us sleep together
For all bonkings & enquiries please contact – firstname.lastname@example.org