Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XXIX

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My dad Tolstoy to send me to sleep

I feel solid for whoever’s it is

Lewis Hammond has qualified for Friday’s long-johns final

Hens’ shoes

Beans and tags

Hairy Poppins

Would you move out and sue yourself?

Take that Jew hat rag off

‘Semen Williams’ among bogus names used by Labour leadership voters at retard sessions

Marconi Wipeless Bridges the Atlantic

Except ‘Sweet Thursday’ and ‘I Tired’

One may have thought I had a shit day, what with turd meaning ‘shit’ an’ all

But no, it’s because of these Beatles

Manager insists Chelsea must not manic buy as it’s beards’ time

He’s a bit of a Simpson

The dementia is 6’’ by 4’’

So remember licks on Tinder’s arm

And Celebrity Big Brother’s Tit On The Side

Wait till Lorraine stops John J’s Bareback Loving

When she gets up on stage she lights up the womb in a lonely 1 bed flat in Grade II Listed Building – E1

If you hear me getting up early I’ll be putting the sax out

How long will these guys work tonight, what are their shits?

This hall has contributed to the devilment of India’s art and culture

People in Calcutta living together no matter what their colour, creed and essential status

They are certain that 28 skeletons discovered two years ago are some of the ‘Dunbar Murrays’

My brain leaves at 5 oh, you, spunky sex your pecs

Mr. Jones is sitting over there

You shouldn’t be shared with devil’s Batman

As Saturday herpes is eye of the window day

Wayne Rooney: our expats pick his best England goals

The crust of the matter is mixed parrots

I haven’t really fought that far ahead to be honest

From my experience they would run your hard-on on Thursdays

Team Memphis for instance: he’s just like Goldfinger with his golden shoes and pocket of crips

Tiny air police regularly hosts open days where you can sample the hyper-local IRAs and porters with tongue cancer plus classic favourites like Beatles and onion

These are Hitler’s zeroes

It’s a classic phrase in gay management

Since he was erected for bribery in Zurich back in May, he looked like he could have been a white supremacist

Is he the one with the massive foray?

He can’t come in next week because of his privates:

he’s doing a week-long course in cocksucking and 6 anthropologies that pay $100+ for short stories

Please let me be the stench again on Halloween’s day of the dad

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