Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XXVII

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Like rabies I am King of Illuminati vodka

And in the play-off semi-final it’s gormless between Rangers and Hibs

Hall of notes is 80s, innit’?

After retiring from playing, Adams became a pundit for BBC Radio Norfolk, before taking up a laughing role at the Norwich City Academy

It was the Midlands of last summer when the first teams set out on their FA Cup adventure

Pele blacked his way to the top with toxic testicles

He was found in his butt-hole

I’ll confess it was quite a journey up the arse yesterday

Although, if he had the choice, he would be haggled to ride Christie’s bongs over there

Hello, Mrs. Ugly, here’s your post

Can you brush the breast outside?

She’s got a minger injury

Her mum’s full of cunts

And of all the people and sadness about tonight of course, it’s the relatives and trends of those involved

I love your subtle bunch

It’s a special blouse service that’s racist cos he’s wearing races and shit

They do lasers for WhatsApp, cancerous lumps in the anus, and Chlamydia Parker-Bowles

Nutmeg gets you a picture of the eye and a bulice bormulator

My bovril’s really cold and there’s rape throughout Scotland

Beanhead’s bit of an egg blog

He was jizzingly gutted at the rape replay trailer

Special needs are as unique as your fingernails

We’ve got loads of other festivals coming up like Pee in the Park

where we serve loudly brewed ales and guarantee constant nonsensical quality

I thought they were synths, but they were urinals

Dockers had told Mr Thompson that he would die when he tipped the scales at 45 stone,

so I ain’t gonna eat out my whore no more

On Sunday, me and Lee went for a mongoose instead

In the early days of cynics, the theory was that future medical technology would be able to stop frozen dead bodies damaging tissues

But God made a mess and man made a woman urinating on his right hand

He seems a dedicated professional who has added new lawyers to his game

The Wonk and Pensions Secretary was among more than a dozen MPs subject to action by the Commons watchdog after failing to show spending was valid

He had an Islamic Powder Day in the Dead Sea Bath Salts – Keep out of reach of children – Not to be taken literally

I used to walk underwater in my underwear

In Persian, sheesh means sex

Have you seen my ear phones, they’re full of Iraqis and social sun tan lotion?

Forensic accountants specialise in Anti-Murray Laundering

Its most recent final – the Ceara State Championship Final – ended in chaos as police fired persecution grenades to break up fights between rival fans.

Fed them their favourite meal of fist you?

Thanks for the scars, anaconda steel

The first one is a gay dress, so click on it

It’s Trudy’s irresistible

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