Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XXIV

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Hello there, I am so sorry it’s been a mouth since my last update

(learning to speak paper)

Foxcatcher, the film about a Rasta

As we know from all those articles about paedo cleanses

and red carpet detoxes

Mugabe on creativity, stolen peace

and as much Westlife streaming as your eyeballs can handle

Would you fuck Sinead O’Connor?

Not just the genitals,

everybody in the country wants to get rich

North-east of here is Boko Haram territory, a badass the size of Belgium

He’s running out of eggs

It should be a universal thing where the button is at the cunt

Walrus, so 28, 30 quid

Fake Polos are what is wrong with Alex

Shit is for the one with yellow bags just there

My boner is my only trick

Mandarin they’re in between having sex with my nose

She looks like a marinade

And I hate myself for being gnawed about it

Amelia licked out a hash tag on Twitter

The content writer is an exciting opportunity that will see you have seasonal input into the user engagement operations

Angry outbursts like Murray’s display in the final are described by clinical psychologist Dr Steve Peters as manifestations of ‘‘the inner champ’’

Kiss the corner of monks singing ‘‘Stella Artois’’

As I came home Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be

I saw a cunt behind the door where my old coat should be

Each time we have a party it breaks my heart

Trying too hard to be funny like an old building

I’m waiting on a bar of soap to be delivered

But if I buy vagina, I can’t buy lunch

‘The Electric cinema!’ Cantona, via Facebook wears demon jackets and nocturnal party dresses

Pizza, I like his bulge like a depressed penis

Chicken rum and the rape swing fail women who gel their elbows

New York’s record 12-day steak without a homicide ended after a man was shot in the head

To achieve an ogre you need at least 5.6

These worry towers will meet you halfway

The man with the flowered penis, Joseph Cellini –

it’s as busy as Oxford services

Otherwise, Son of a Stag off Brick Lane

gets on the bus with my chicken usher kebab

It tastes like Jericho

Eurostar died out about 600,000 years ago

along with the Hammers fan bant’ threat

A judge has told the ex-wife of a millionaire recluse surgeon to get a job

with Corrina and caviar on my mind

I fuck you sincere

And a cold night married to Mirallas

Is Lou Reed leaving the milk out for a laugh?

It’s not Romford science

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