Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XXIII

 

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A rugby league match is an aggressive comedian

He said mosques tend to fall off the cave in bad weather

You’re in the wings as I text your tits

Remember, if you’re interesting and want to appear on this programme, write your name and address on your telephone number and send it to this address

Official Chart Bile featuring Union J

Conde Nast Traveller fervently dubbed Leeds ‘The UK’s favourite city’

Have you hung around a car wash?

She was a Swiss-eyed girl

Cremating the Christmas shop

With deliciously thick bleach

Barack Obama bent down to pick up the Queen’s tampon

This is the time of night I need loads of biscuits and business

Putin on the style

in the curious incident of the dog nightingale,

it’s got Aldi on it

Hello Spitalfields, are you feeling wrong?

Court No 1 will get a retractable roof in the £70million molestation

Word of wanking, though –

Lights, Camera…Hacton!

No matter what our age, no matter the time of year,

we feel the right to don noodles

It was Mickey Mouse’s studio, his family, I think, all ran it

My mum’s good at meningitis

Just don’t send her to the Italian shop

Beware the cost of a Boris brolly

Is there a dildo?

Would you wear a quilt to your wedding?

This is the pudding mix where

I cum on the handle bars

Cod fingers, chips, beans/fleas

Have you penned a Miss Herring?

RNL Little Oats is a well-hung codlet

So no Peking until 25th December

They will receive an email every time you rubbish a post

Live mutts

Please buy a tissue for

the warmer in May in tribute to the dead soldiers

I’m gonna take a pizza of the Christmas tree

As Santa clouds surround clowns

He trained with them, played in a match with them and died [in] a Q&A session

If you’re playing a three year old then play Gerrard in the back three.

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