Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XIX

Take a trip down angry men with Cranbrook pizza and the happy neck of scoring for England/Wipe the blood from your white well-endowed and white drown and un-dip the football/Brie and onion marmalade broke bus battered mushrooms/Please do not put loss on the fire/That’s in my head at the moment, carrots playing dice/Columbia: An Exercise in Fatality/Tamworth: Capital of Cunty Music/Here comes The Fall, would you be there to applaud the Russian twin of Caipirinha: Absolut Vodka, fresh limes & sugar mixed with crushed lice?/I had to use petrol sauce on my shoes for my feet/Head banning is a great exercise for giving head bang if you agree/And I miss you like the desert’s mister vain/For screaming times and updates visit greatbritishsummer14.com/She couldn’t be manager, but her boss is bald/Smarmy she wrote/I hate racing trolls presenting a packet of weed smelling of Ghana/My sister and her boyfriend – or her Beyonce shall I say – have got another French birthday to go to/Hey seamsters, hey, hey seamsters! My egg flavoured friend loves the poetry of holy pasta/And because I bought him a ticket he’s gonna give me his spare dick/Alcohol makes me Korean/It’s not ketchup, it’s strawberry lipstick/My cat is such a Deutsch bag, I’m getting another on sunburn/So you’re all going to the Wetherspoons in sock Newington?/Was it you who said you watch porn every minute?/The halls were a parade line and I was the giant goat/I’d gotten used to the whispers and rumours, but today it was the eyes and the handshakes and the cats on the back/Multicoloured pube lice have AIDS with vampires/He’s not a chicken lover and I want no other/Caroline, the Pigeon leader of the Lib-Dem London Assembly Group says ‘‘SATS are not the bellend’’/’Two kitchens’ Kate brushes up on comedy/It has brought down trees and pythons, and seven people have died/200 years of heritage and still rolling with the Thames/The English are after AIDS, chest ale and a random bottle of something wrong/Lying in the sand with a cack in my hand/I halibut of it earlier/We’ve got another dirty five minutes/In the middle of the Nolan I go walking in my sleep/I think it might help with the graving process/If someone asked you if you like wart sports, what would you say?/She’s got a commentary accent/You might want shepherd’s pie before you do it, Hattie cow/Don’t forget your nipple trousers.

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