Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XV

We are urgently recruiting experienced Production Operatives for our client based in….line work & general warehouse duties. Candidates must have…linked and leaked friggin’ twisters/It’s about time I dropped one at that yoga event/Because nipples love you and the disgusting benefit reforms on the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show/It’s been mumps since I’ve seen you in your sweaty dresses/Then again I wasn’t mugging gold ladies/He bastardised(s) the walls/The fat bloke that looks like Pokemon/Let me get this right, cameo is the ‘’rocky’’ one and fiction is the standard chubby one?/A tan of samples are more Fellaini’s than men/Carnivorous trees think I’ll just go home and make a spunk bowl at the Church Hell Foundry/Windmills are that way round Wimbledon at a festival of cavort/He makes a stew pit challenge and a box of bastard Tropicana as I shop for cocaine/‘‘You need to be more sexible,’’ he said as he sexed their minds/You are my greatest adventure and I almost pissed it going down The Koi with people having shit for tea who can be discerned quite easily/I guess the rain’s down in Africa/2014 is the Year of the Cunt and a slug of milk/Give that box of crepe to Lou Lou/Crab-a-locker if you feel happiness is for you/Modern rugby players are big, not fat, as solid as a wok/That sounds good, bacon and a sloppy sausage/Me and Steve were discussing the cow incident/I’m gonna go to the shop to get some Jews/Have you got a cock on your desk or…?/My uncle was a wrestler in Greece for fighting police/Italians don’t use pastels much/If something did heaven I can help you/You placed big bold bets with big assed balls to blow on Kenco, what’s that, a sign of Asian?/Featuring: Young Craps Player – Philip Seymour Hoffman/I know a place where no shit goes/Comic games should be bigger, really/By highlighting, by informing the pubic, we can put a stop to this barbaric practice/The one thing I miss about dating Merlin in Sweden is the crayfish festival/Parody House, Made In Romania for the neknominate holiday sale/Up to UKIP for £6.31 per hour as an Orca Developer in Waterlooville/I need wee to carry boxes/Maybe brusque is a bender/I was gonna meet her, but she’s having KFC/OH GOD, SUCH A BAD FAN FART/I’m not gonna insert it up your ‘arris/Britain is my dad/I’m uncomfortable like Dembele/But I’ve made porn red curry/So drop your pants by the sand and can the can with minion spirit/Love comes in spurs/Them Huns popped out the snow like babies!/How’s the Ibuprofen?/There’s no camping so it must be a dog festival/No spiders please/Getting out the table to watch it/May his dear soul rent in peace

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