Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XIV

Girlfriend in a Korma I know, I know it’s serious/10 years of being hard is my highlight of the X-Factor/Fill in the stuffed child papers and dare to reem/Grazing the water with our arses/Pushing their soul power on the comical wheel/With a shag in the back/Early in the morning getting a smack from the fridge/You can’t come in unless you’ve been punted by a child/The weed smells like shrapnel/I’ve got mermaids to call/I’d die for the stairs and their stares/Marvin Sordell replaces @churchy18. He’s put in a great shit today and deservedly gets a standing ovation/It’s enough to make kings and a bag of bones leave their fairytale/Does your petty mouth come with regular or large fries?/The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smug/You know what, Otis, you’re a country/Stay tuned for Celebrity Psycho/I’ve got a lot of urine for Ireland/Last night’s win at Craven Cottage was a toilet for the manager, who claims his side deserved a change in fortune/They need to bring in some new players, but ALSO need to shit one or two of them out/The reason why, in the end, for all his good looks, Jimmy Hill must never feel the flat of the sovereign’s blade on his bony old shoulder/Are orange people a seed?/David Essex never got into spastic surgery/But really, if you look back to their early days, playing The Cavern for example, and before they had a manager or any real concept of PR, they were generating similar levels of excrement/Seeking a 7.5 tonne Warehouse Assistant/Mo and Ritchie got married in 1965 then had sex in the September I think/He’s gone out with a crap windscreen, I hope it doesn’t shatter a Limehouse to kill/The marking of King John’s assassination began with a random paragraph about Pitsea to a comparison of King John and Henry VIII as being the medieval Chuckle Brothers/And what about the bus stops between the two benches, what about their personalities?/SKI BOY, 16, KILLED BY AMBULANCE IN FRONT OF HIS LAWN/It was Mrs Shin Shine/He lunged at her and thrust his tongue down her throat before putting his hand up her shit and grabbing her breast/If I’d have known I would have brought myself with me/We have to apologise to you if you’re sucking off your family by going to a match/Just drop it like a tar/Zebras don’t change colour, chameleons do/Samuel E’to and coke gives me a stomach ache/Life is like a spoon/And life is full of spoons/Bet you all ate the Kaiser that night, eh?/This may be the most appalling email I’ve ever written to you.

 

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