Poetry

Conversational Miss Herrings Part XII

Scousers close to Baines and Fellaini claim they are desperate to join United/Sexy Sadie, you’ll get your share with men’s needs and Apollo creed/The barman thought I was deaf and didn’t serve me a flavour of corn pus/Still, an eagle bruised at home is better than a barley brew/Maths and English Abuser Teacher: Location: Manchester | Salary: Negotiable | Employer: RANDSTAD EDUCATION | Abuser Teacher required for a Primary school in Manchester, starting in September 2013/Romeo Warehouse Operative – NW London needed to work in London – North/Must have excellent customer service and communication skills. Have a good telephone number and be computer literate/Subject: Application for Online Content/Creative Cop Writer/reed.co.uk loves Murrays/Portsmouth’s Yassin Moutaouakil has been sent off for VIOLET CONDUCT/We’re not scoring in games, but at least we’re keeping clean sleets/Disgusting voices have been heard loud and clear a couple of miles east at The Valley too, particularly when 3-0 down to Doncaster Rovers in the farcical postponed game in August/Do you remember I thought I had a chest infection, but was AIDS? I still played on/He’s been nearing retirement and he’s as decent a doctor as it’s impossible to find/Which is five seasons why Arsenal will never win another trophy with Arsene Wenger in charge/The surprise announcement by Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov came a few hours after US Secretary John Terry said that Syrian President Bashar Assad could resolve the crisis by surrendering control of ‘‘every single bit’’ of his Arsenal to the international community by the end of the week with a long term goal of 2/3 years; even meal money/It was Johnny Rotten down the right who fed Martin and he slotted home past Schmeichel to give them the lead as Tottenham and Chelsea finished one a peach/FLAKY CITY GO TOPLESS/Juventus were desperate to win, and I was being molested by top players such as Lilian Thuram and Paolo Montero/The only goal came when I popped up on the right wing, received a lonely pass from Gary Neville and crossed for Scholesy to hammer home one of his bullets/King of the Rumbling Stripes/We’re the burning condoms/Geese, wasps and almonds are significations of the devil/A red, distinctive, amphibious vehicle/In February 2011, the British Medieval Journal sent one GP – Margaret McCartney – to an Atos recruitment session/Your glam-indebted band Denim, signed to dance label Junior Boy’s Own, got raped into Britpop as her bare back haunts me/Ordered to do community service as part of his evil punishment, Eric threw himself into it with gusto/He’s walking like a dumb bell/Did you know? Zoopla has been shortlisted in this area’s ‘Website of the Year’ awards/You are so close to getting hot, baked beans delivered to you daily. Just confirm your e-mail address/Next up, a quest to shag an author.

Written by Ricky Murray

12/10/2013

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