Conversational Miss Herrings Part IV

This purple AIDS is making me giddy, brushing your teeth with your YouTube project, studying Euro Signs at the University of Glasgow, your fasting stinks of rotten eggs, buttock exercises in the courtyard, lower the bucket of water down the missing well, the abominable snail man, the juice and the Muslims are warring again, he showed shivery when he was around women, I did an apprenticeship in Rick knows, On the Budgies, Guitar Hero loves Raphael Park, I think my breath smells – would you like to go outside and look at the bins? she’s gonna get a hand job soon, yeah, I’m parched, is your mother here? are you pissed yet and a Happy New Year, you better watch out/you better not cry/better not pout because I’m telling you why/Sainsbury’s is coming to town, jungle bells/jungle bells/jungle all the way, my turn to roll the ice, reading an apple, eating a newspaper, avin a Chinky wine wiv my girliez!!!!! the bear in Brave looks like he’s made of Gemma, keep away from the dog while he’s chewing his bum, celebrations are underwear, I might appear OK to the gays of others but I’m not, I can see myself still living at home with my appearance when I’m past 30, reading The Turd Man by Graham Greene, ‘Hi Ho Sliver Lining’, wishing upon a Gangnam star, healthy dating, the board of directors at the ‘Funny Name for a Fish and Ship Shop Committee’, watching the usual subjects, gonna eat some sex before I get on the plane, he hasn’t picked up one affair yet, his biggest chair was from London to Shrewsbury, call him Mr. Rater, call him Mr. Rowe, children what to do, he dissipated in 1995, je m’appelle Panini, Bill Sikes and his pet bald terrorist, they’re all trying to make us sell arseholes, you’ll always find me in the chicken at parties, who’s gonna sit on your face when I’m gone? The Almond Brothers, I’m so happy and I won’t stop until my tears are horse shit, I’ve got a new DVD, d’you know what it is? Fear of Drink, Dickov steps down as Oldham boss after a poo run of results, as scary as a Mafia dog, your votes won’t count until everyone has died, he’s volatile on the ball, most copy is MOT, Malibu Street, Stan Kittens stars in yet another Woody Allen movie, swimming with golfing before you die, catch the forced sex to Clapham Junction, anal birds, she spat on his lap, pirates find a horny treasure, testicular gravy is delicious, in a game of cat and mouth, killed for pace in frustration, her dress looks like Nick Curtis, kissing him on the bone, cum down dear, it’s just a commercial.

Written by Ricky Murray


Follow @rickyhornchurch





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